The Downsides of Being a Jedi
by superfly31
Summary: The Space Channel 5 crew has negative views on being a Jedi.
1. Chapter 1

"The Downsides of Being a Jedi"

Chapter 1: Ulala the Female Jedi

Ulala's POV

Hey there, space cats! It's me, Ulala! But I am not reporting today. Today, I am working as a Jedi, which has always been my dream job! There's just one teensy-weensy problem. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A LIGHTSABER!

See, it all started when I signed up for the job. After I signed the contract, I had to take a mandatory training session, which completely SUCKED. I didn't know how to swing a lightsaber properly, since I've only used two small guns in the course of a lifetime.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I was banned from wearing my favorite clothes. There was this one time when I left my room wearing my orange Retro Gear, and Master Yoda caught me. You know what he said? He said, "Wear that, you must not. Provocative, it is." I WAS SO FLIPPIN' MAD!

Now where were we before I started ranting? Oh, yeah. I'm currently working as a Jedi, and I hate it. Stay tuned, man.

**DONE WITH CHAPTER ONE! Up next: PUDDING! Let's hear what she has to say about working as a Jedi! Stay tuned!**

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	2. Chapter 2

"The Downsides of Being a Jedi"

Chapter 2: Angry Jedi- Our Great Pudding

Pudding's POV

OMG! I like, TOTALLY hate my job as a Jedi! I mean, it's SOOOO boring! All I ever do is fight this black-armored man who

keeps telling me to join the dark side. What does THAT have to do with the price of cheese?

Anyway, my life ended after I signed that stupid contract. After I signed it, Master Yoda told me to burn my clothes. WHY

ON EARTH SHOULD I BURN MY CLOTHES? Of course, I rebelled by wearing them underneath my Jedi robe. Yoda hasn't

caught me…yet.

Then I found out that I had to work alongside Ulala. I HATE THAT WOMAN! She's always 1-upping me in EVERYTHING!

Well, I'll show her. I'll show HER who's boss!

Oh, and then there's the fighting part. OMG, I don't even KNOW what to do! When I was sent out into the battlefield, I

decided to take my guitar with me. My super-cool guitar licks can one-up anybody! But then Yoda caught me and told me

that guitars are evil. HOW ARE GUITARS EVIL? THEY'RE AWESOME!

But what am I gonna do? I guess I have to live with being a Jedi alongside…ULALA.

Stay tuned, guys, and may the Force with be you. I still don't know what that means.

**DONE WITH CHAPTER 2! Up next: SPACE MICHAEL! I wonder what he'll say next! So stay tuned!**

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	3. Chapter 3

"The Downsides of Being a Jedi"

Chapter 3: Superstar Jedi- Space Michael

Space Michael's POV

Hey there, guys. I'm Space Michael, formerly known as- *The Imperial March plays at top volume*- and I'm here to tell

you about how GREAT my job as a Jedi is. NOT!

I totally HATE this job! Every time I go into battle, I have to remember that we're not using dance to solve conflicts!

Afterwards, I always think, "How did I get here? Oh, yeah. IT WAS WHEN I SIGNED THAT STUPID CONTRACT!"

OMG, I should NOT have signed that contract. That thing is PURE EVIL. The minute you sign it, you're scarred for LIFE.

LIFE, I tell you!

Sure, I get to work with Ulala and Pudding, but other than that, MY JOB SUCKS! I have to fight against Darth-what's-his-

face, and I have to keep myself from getting decapitated with a lightsaber. WHY COULDN'T WE USE CHU-HEY GUNS?

Then there's Master Yoda. He's wise, but he bans you from EVERYTHING! There was this one time when I brought one of

those handy SC5 guns, and he BANNED them. Why? BECAUSE IT WAS TOO DANGEROUS, THAT'S WHY! Honestly, those

lightsabers are more dangerous than those SC5 guns!

Ah…got to go. I have to lather some wrinkle cream on Yoda. So may the forks be with you. W-wait, it's not forks….AHA!

It's SPORKS! No…that's not right, either. Anyway, BYE! And may the Whatever be with you!

**Okay, the chapter has been FINISHED! Up next: PURGE! Stay tuned, guys! :)**

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	4. Chapter 4

"The Downsides of Being a Jedi"

Chapter 4: Sweet, Sly, and Sexy Purge

Purge's POV

HI, EVERYONE! Guess what? I'm a Jedi TOO! It's so wonderful working as a Jedi for the Rebel Alliance because I get

to do whatever I want! NOT!

I HATE WORKING AS A JEDI! I have to go out onto the battlefield EVERY FREAKING DAY! I don't even know what I'm

supposed to be fighting for, but apparently, I have to fight, which totally cramps my style.

Then there's Darth Vader, a man who I have to stop from killing me on a daily basis. I mean, what the heck is HIS

problem? I've done nothing wrong to him, and he chooses to constantly attack me! I think it has to do with me

trying to force him to dance, which is probably something he hates.

But you know what the worst part of my darn job is? I have to work with Ulala, Pudding, and Space Michael! UGH! I

TOTALLY HATE THOSE PEOPLE! They were the ones who thought my TV show was TRASH. TRASH, I TELL YOU! Of

course, when I met them for the first time in a while, they all put on this stupid nice act, saying things like, "I don't

know who you are, but let's be friends, okay?" Screw their friendship! They're total fakes, I tell you! FAKES! So I told

them off by saying, "DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP! YOU SENT ME INTO SPACE A LONG TIME AGO, WHERE IT'S

FREAKING COLD! WELL, GUESS WHAT? I DON'T NEED YOUR DARN FRIENDSHIP, SO GO AWAY!" Of course, they just

stared at me in confusion like they didn't know what I was talking about. Well, screw those guys. I'M GOING HOME.

Ugh, okay, well, that's it for now. The great and adorable Purge has to go to the little Padawan's room, where he

needs his privacy. Then I'm gonna go take a nice, long nap. SO MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

**Okay, the chapter's all finished! I'm running out of ideas, so please feel free to leave an idea for me in the review section! Until next time, STAY TUNED!**

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End file.
